Мои стихи

[April]

1. The Voice Of Despair

 

Triangles of half-open doors

Reveal all the truth that is hidden:

Just condoms and cans on the floor,

Black papers with verses, forbidden -

Unfinished remakes of the song,

Deprived of the right to speak loud

Of wicked intentions gone wrong -

Erasers have muffled the shout.

 

The only illusion-proof mind -

A poet, the voice of despair,

Sincere, the one of this kind

Throws verses far into the air

Right there, in a dirty old flat

Among once great talents, now rotten.

They all have deserved more than that,

But even their names are forgotten.

 

 

2. Victim

 

You wake up at six: intercourse with your spouse.

You're under the blanket with tightly shut eyes.

At seven a postman arrives to your house

With two printed portions of scandals and lies.

 

You turn the TV on. Your damn daily dose

Of lies is exceeded with fresh morning news.

You firmly believe global changes are close -

You have no idea they've hidden the truth.

 

In life you've achieved less than nothing, you're poor

Though you were the best both at college and school.

Well, man, who are you? You are not even sure.

In fact, you're a pawn in the game of a fool.

 

3. A Desperate City

 

Hello to you from the gray gloomy city,

Where crowds unconsciously worship despair,

Indulging in dangers of constant self-pity

With naive belief in the world's being fair.

 

 

They have no trust in a man's inner power,

And fortitude sounds like something unknown.

They have no poets, just ones of an hour,

Who drown at once in the thoughts of their own.

 

With greed they consume plain illusions for dinner,

And dress them with lies when they serve the new dishes

To those so-called "pathological sinners"

Who find someone else's delusions delicious.

 

They have Friday liter-mates rather than friends

To mark that the week of no favor is ending,

But even with glasses of spirits in hands

They look worse than misery. Are they pretending?

 

4. Big Knobs' Dicks

 

You pray to angels with dirty wings,

Buy mercy and sell it,

Your rotten selfishness fucking stinks,

Dozens of cities smell it.

Your dirty sluts own golden cunts,

Justice smells just like dough,

Bribes, euro-bucks and some public stunts

At crusty First Channel's shows.

 

Your cash green eyes and your whiskey blood

Rule pointless decisions,

You, big knobs' dicks, are too deep in mud

Far beyond your own vision.

Newspapers vomit your ugly words,

Your promises are inflated,

The laws have turned into global swords,

The world is humiliated.

 

5. Reflections At Four In The Morning

 

All days are the same: morning, city, the crowd.

Life's not going forward, it's moving around.

And masks of all shades on those ignorant faces,

A few made-up stories in cheap street newspapers,

Sluts looking like stars, dirty queens of attraction,

Gross idols of so deceptive perfection

Are doors to the mind of the crowd, so hollow -

They hear the call of the dumb and they follow.

Now passion means lust, now freedom means violence,

Stupidity prospers. It's due to your silence!

The weak ones are searching for someone to blame,

The helpless would trade for a minute of fame.

A couple hearts broken don't cost a damned thing;

The hopeless romantics would give anything -

Despite having nothing - for love, non-existing.

We've made up this concept, as something is missing.

Believe it or not - I can cope alone!

I never wished someone to call me their own.

It's such a delusion that having you here

Will help me get over this common old fear.

What's frightening? Solitude? Fear itself!

I hide beside you when I fear myself!

But it is much better with you than the crowd

That never goes forward, that keeps going round.

 

6. Proud

 

The same nasty job and the same decorations,

The desperate faces of helpless sweatpals,

Bright shouting ads at half-dead metro stations,

Then evenings with you in a dark empty cell.

 

The price of ten dollars for some inspiration,

Some spirits, some sex and a pointless nightmare,

Brain womittimg words for another creation,

The words squirting hatred and bleeding despair,

 

No money for life, but great plans and beginnings...

They hate me for pride and the truth brought them ripe.

I've chosen life with just one subtle meaning,

They've chosen one of a stereotype.

 

I say what is true and I live what is fair!

I laugh at those dull social-networking mugs

Who tell me: "Young thing, you're nothing in square",

The kids of myspaces and audiodrugs.

 

The lights in the streets take me back to November -

Complete isolation of heart, blood and mind.

The ones that I loved still forget to remember

A beautiful devil - the one of this kind.

 

The guise of my freedom has changed. Don't you care

That everything else has remained? It is me!

Alone in the crowd, both here and there,

And fucking damn proud - more sober, more free.

[narKot]

яще адин англичанан...............

[April]

7. Associations

 

My days remind me of the endless autumn rain,

The fascinating, charming melancholy.

The sky is crying for my bitter loss -

The loss of one hour's eternity.

And I know the rain is bound to cease,

But my sorrow will shape just another rain cloud,

And the steps on our crossing ways

Will be only for always erased.

 

And my freedom reminds of a foreign land,

No destination is one, true home

That has never existed at all.

And wherever I go, I will only get lost.

 

And my love reminds of a wilted rose,

Its eternal beauty is evanescent;

While you're breathing in its light April scent,

Least of all you expect it to hurt you,

But time leaves you just pain of its pretty thorns.

 

And my truth reminds of an ancient language,

Mystic manuscripts only few can read,

But no one's ever got to the core,

Where the mystery is way too obvious.

 

So, my whole life's like a chess game

With one possible ending - it's draw.

 

8.If

 

My pen is bleeding on the paper,

As love is bleeding in my heart.

Each word's the bare truth -

Put these words to music,

Play this music on the strings of my soul,

If you don't tear them, I'm yours.

 

If you see me dying,

Will you hold my hand through this hell?

Will you save me like you did once?

You know where to find the way

To the temple of my hope.

And I don't know...

 

If only I had died tomorrow,

Would you've turned back time,

So that tomorrow'd never come?

And if I asked you

To kill me with your bare hands,

Just not with your indifference... would you?

 

I can't breathe the air of fear.

I'm suffocating... will you hold me in your arms

To chase the fear away?

Will you breathe life into me?

Will you forgive me the weakness of one day

If I'm your shield for all the lifetime?

 

If I could live an hour of your life,

Dwell in your inner world that's just your own,

I'd turn to real your most precious dreams.

And if you realize

I love you with each ounce of my heart,

Will you ever say goodbye?

 

9. Victim

 

You wake up at six: intercourse with your spouse.

You're under the blanket with tightly shut eyes.

At seven a postman arrives to your house

With two printed portions of scandals and lies.

 

You turn the TV on. Your damn daily dose

Of lies is exceeded with fresh morning news.

You firmly believe global changes are close -

You have no idea they've hidden the truth.

 

In life you've achieved less than nothing, you're poor

Though you were the best both at college and school.

Well, man, who are you? You are not even sure.

In fact, you're a pawn in the game of a fool.

 

10. Hope-less

 

Deceptive freedom. Honest lies.

A charming, yet so dreadful guise.

Forgotten memories. Two hearts

Are in my chest, both torn apart.

Strong weakness of a wilted rose.

My two reflections, one disclosed.

A shadow of changing shapes.

The sorrow of different shades.

A bleeding wrist of strangers'faith.

A crystal tear on no one's face.

 

Odd soulless hearts in mystic frames,

You have no voices, know no shame!

Just when you're dumb, your words are true.

I'm hopeless. Well. But who are you??

You're nothingness behind green eyes,

Mistakes that never happen twice.

You're just a riddle for a day

To figure out - and stay away

From all this simply perfect mess,

Where I am hope, and you - are less.

 

11. Proud

 

The same nasty job and the same decorations,

The desperate faces of helpless sweatpals,

Bright shouting ads at half-dead metro stations,

Then evenings with you in a dark empty cell.

 

The price of ten dollars for some inspiration,

Some spirits, some sex and a pointless nightmare,

Brain vomittimg words for another creation,

The words squirting hatred and bleeding despair,

 

No money for life, but great plans and beginnings...

They hate me for pride and the truth brought them ripe.

I've chosen life with just one subtle meaning,

They've chosen one of a stereotype.

 

I say what is true and I live what is fair!

I laugh at those dull social-networking mugs

Who tell me: "Young thing, you're nothing in square",

The kids of myspaces and audiodrugs.

 

The lights in the streets take me back to November -

Complete isolation of heart, blood and mind.

The ones that I loved still forget to remember

A beautiful devil - the one of this kind.

 

The guise of my freedom has changed. Don't you care

That everything else has remained? It is me!

Alone in the crowd, both here and there,

And fucking damn proud - more sober, more free.

 

12. Damn

 

Dive into your own damned lake,

Take the turn - I'm going straight.

Your intended failed mistake

Has defined your only fate.

 

No, I cannot stop the herd,

I can't drain your ego's gall.

I can neither beat one nerd

Nor by words defeat them all.

 

But my keen and poignant phrase

Does reveal my only wish:

Live your own rusty days,

Poison your fucked up damned dish!

 

In your masks you look the same,

As perfection cheats on you.

You deny your spirit's lame,

And this way you prove it true.

[April]

13. Fate And Fortune

 

This northern city with headlights-eyes

Has buried me in its cold and gloom;

You'll see this place in a dreadful guise

And once sweet home will seem a tomb

Once you're aware there's no way out,

Once dreams of youth say goodbye and grin.

It goes farther and makes me doubt

In all the things I have ever seen.

Its blood has turned into ice and snow -

It's endless winter in every heart.

The winds of grief never cease to blow,

The art of grief is the greatest art.

 

And once in this cradle of dirt and despair

A wandering stranger demanded my mind.

He asked me about this damned northern air

I'd better not breathe - I would leave it behind.

He said: "I'm in love with this misery, miss.

Destruction is right what we need to create.

True art is in grief, I've been dreaming of this.

My yesterday's fortune's tomorrow's fate.

I know all secrets my destiny knows,

So this boring dwelling won't be a surprise".

I thought: "He's my twin, and it clearly shows".

That evening he opened my widely shut eyes.

 

A perfect stranger has built a wall

To be a shield from this gloom and lies,

From endless rains of this city's gall

That falls on me from the shattered skies.

The wave of feelings can warm the days

Of dull existence in Bitterland

And melt the ice in this rotten place,

In every heart that it's due to mend.

This northern city with headlights-eyes

Has turned us down in its nasty voice

And... brought together. We've paid the price

Of fate to fortune. We've made the choice.

[April]

14. The Truth

 

You are not the ones for love to know,

You are not the ones for life to please,

All you hunt is dirty euro dough,

It's, in fact, a terrible disease.

 

Your infected ego is inflated,

It will burst and poison all your veins.

Even when the beast is saturated,

It is still your helplessness that reigns.

 

Every step you take will be declared

As the most expected epic fall.

I'm the only poet who has dared

To announce the truth, to say it all.

[April]

15. The Words Of Anguish

 

Surrounded by my past,

I have discovered a lot.

I have discovered at last

The anguish of loss in my chest.

This anguish is all that I've got.

 

Surrounded by this gloom,

I only want to break through.

I only want thoughts to bloom

Like weeds by a foreigner's tomb.

He fought for the word, proven true.

 

Surrounded by this mist,

I have apparently drown.

I have apparently missed

The time that still runs through my fists.

My anger could burn it all down...

[April]

16. Sleepless Revelations

 

The news has said it's getting better,

But who on Earth believes in it?

Now, when all dreams are bound to shatter,

I laugh at such a lame deceit.

 

And I don't care this place is dying

Beneath my own fallen sky.

It is your life that I'm denying,

As you have taken mine awry.

 

I tell myself that spring is near,

But April never comes alone.

It takes me back to vanished years,

It brings the memories, once gone.

 

My hopes are buried in despair,

As sleeplessness has made me think.

And thoughts do always lead right where

The truth is dwelling. Chances shrink.

 

I've drawn a land of endless silence,

But certainly, I've failed to flee.

This place of never-ending violence

Will kill me, won't lose touch with me.

 

The laws of heart are my salvation,

Yet I can never get enough

Of unforgettable sensations.

I'm still alive just due to love.

[toni7777ful]

че то тут темы с душевными стихами подряд пошли...что происходит на форуме? Веснаааа в разгаре.

[April]

17. Routine

 

Your husband, unfaithful, and five stupid kids

Do grow the seeds of despair;

You water them amply, chain-eating with greed

Cheap sweets. Listen, quit it. Stare.

 

Your husband detests you. Accept it is true.

He needs ironed suits and your dinner.

However, he had kind of feelings for you

When you were much younger and thinner.

 

All hope is gone,

You try to flee,

You're dreaming of the deep blue sea,

Remembering your honeymoon.

But hope is gone.

You'll wake up soon.

 

Your children are craving for stale breakfast pies,

Which wasted a couple nice hours.

Your husband can't hope with his hair and tie,

Your morning is fully devoured.

 

Brazilian tragedies on the blue screen

Appear your only salvation.

Most couples discover the same boring scene,

Routine is the pain of the nation.

[April]

18. Alien

 

The cradle of despair.

The ever-winter air.

Is anybody there,

Beneath this dreadful moon

Evoking thirst for tears?

I'm screaming - no one hears.

I breathe the same old fear

That I'll be dying soon.

My soul strays and hovers,

My heart is under covers,

My lonely secret lovers -

The clouds and the sea -

Can grant me no salvation

Within my heart's temptation.

In this dilapidation

I see no way to flee.

[April]

19. In The Gutter

 

You say you are braver, superior, smarter,

Your pride, ever swollen, has poisoned the air.

In fact, you are already deep in the gutter,

You've merged with the shades of the earthly despair.

 

Your crave for respect, much more cash, a career,

But luck's velvet fingers won't grant you a touch,

Your purpose is being in front of the rear,

You cannot believe that it costs one too much.

 

The same elevator, the buttons in rows

From Monday till Friday. The same boring week.

You press button ten: you are taken below -

Regarding your dwelling, emotion-sick.

 

You crave for respect and life-long recognition,

But rich-colored life is behind your bent back,

You don't realize it's a bitter position,

You've never considered the change of this track.

 

You say you are braver, superior, smarter,

But you are deprived of the pleasure of thought.

In fact, you are already deep in the gutter,

The look of a shadow is all that you've got.

[April]

20. From The Heart

 

I'm here in the corner, devoured by cold,

My little ribbed shell hides a desperate sigh,

It holds an enigma for you to unfold

Until I'm asleep to your breath's lullaby.

 

My soul is rushing beyond the extremes,

Revealing the vibe that is hard to appease,

But once you discover the door to my dreams,

My consciousness lives through a moment of peace.

 

Whenever my lips start exploring your skin,

They bleed unexplainable bitter remorse -

My poison leaves stains, and it feels from within,

But lips ever sealed do appear much worse.

[April]

21. Fetter

 

I say: "Good morning everyone",

Turn on the light. The morning sun

Will never choose to greet this place

Of greed-trapped minds and sheer disgrace.

Some beer into inner space

To sink reality for instance

Is just the way of my resistance

Within this suffocating maze.

 

The fussy crowds in hurrying trams,

The same old streets, the traffic jams

Are too disgusting for my eyes -

They seek lush colors of surprise.

My heart's a rose yet to bloom,

And all it needs is Heaven's cater,

But I will never break the fetter

Of northern winds and autumn gloom.

[April]

22. Ignorant Bliss

 

Describe me the pleasures of ignorant bliss,

When life's like a train you are bound to miss,

When casual trifles appear in pink,

And wonders untouchable instantly shrink.

 

You don't want to alter reality frail,

So every bold thought finds itself in a jail.

You welcome no changes, you try just to match

The role you play, fate's satirical sketch.

 

You say you don't mind it, I know its false,

Your day, like a wheel, monotonously rolls.

You suffer to fit an invisible hole

That life cast you into. To fight or to crawl?

[chandr]

Очень содержательно .... главное свежо ..........Но я никогда не буду ломать путы

Из северных ветров и осеннего мрака.

[April]

Спасибо, рада, что понравилось! Ну а что касается темы и образов - все зависит от настроения, каждому свое.

[April]

23. Evening

 

Discover the lands of forever -

Of harmony, beauty and peace;

Your reverie's worth the endeavor

Of searching a moment to seize:

 

A moment to linger for years,

A perpetuated romance

Of two ever different spheres

That twist in a passionate dance.

 

This madness and charm are a whole,

As everything's possible there.

This unit will conquer your soul

And liven your dream if you dare.

 

Unravel the life you desire,

And fortune will paint it for you.

The forces of Water and Fire

Conspire to make it all true.

 

24. Gifting A Dream

 

You're driving across the mysterious lands,

You're making your way to the sea and the shore.

Let go of the wheel and stretch out your hands -

Your secret desires will call you for more.

 

Midnight in July.

The boundless sky.

The signs in the violet mist.

The red and green lights

That shine through the nights

To show you dream islands exist.

 

The island of hope is the first on the way,

I'm waiting for you, I am already there.

With fingers entwined, with the thoughts gone astray

We'll lie by the water in silence and stare.

 

The sand as a bed.

Black roofs painted red.

A thousand small fireflies.

A bright navy sail.

Sweet scents we inhale.

Your charming and still dreamy guise...

 

25. Lands Of Forever

 

Discover the lands of forever -

Of harmony, beauty and peace;

Your reverie's worth the endeavor

Of searching a moment to seize:

 

A moment to linger for years,

A perpetuated romance

Of two ever different spheres

That twist in a passionate dance.

 

This madness and charm are a whole,

As everything's possible there.

This unit will conquer your soul

And liven your dream if you dare.

 

Unravel the life you desire,

And fortune will paint it for you.

The forces of Water and Fire

Conspire to make it all true.

[April]

26. Life Replaced

 

I am drenched in silver smoke

With my weekend brandy mates,

Laughing at the same old jokes,

Taking part in drunk debates.

 

When my forces get united,

I will leave the noisy bar,

Soon to find myself invited

To a ride in someone's car.

 

Midnight dates, adventures, strangers,

Mad ideas for some fun,

The temptation of the danger

To be liked by everyone,

 

Lust, elation, merging faces

Lighten all the darkest days.

But past love's lost scattered traces

Aren't that easy to erase...

 

 

27. Sincerity

 

The times of the rhyming sensations are ceased,

It's no surprise evil love has deceased -

My heart is a chamber with limited space,

Indifference got all my feelings erased.

 

Frail fibre is used to the memories' blade,

My thirst for your love is about to fade,

Deceiving myself is revealing the truth,

The pain of desire is easy to soothe.

 

Two opposite planets, two opposite spheres,

Both ruled by denying just being sincere

Will never be one due to different laws.

I have to accept it the way that it goes.

 

Sincerity stands for the lack of control,

And love never even existed at all.

So what does my poetry speak of, indeed?

Old scars are deprived of the pleasure to bleed.

[April]

28. Reminiscence

 

I miss the tune of my ringtone

That no one except us knew;

I went to bed with my cell phone

And dreamt of hearing from you.

Your voice became my sole salvation,

Your breath - the sweetest lullaby.

I miss the waiting at the station,

Observing people passing by,

And then - your smile, a hint to linger

To have a menthol cigarette

I took from cold yet gentle fingers...

And guess what happens in my head

At times I drink that lemon beer

Or white plum whine, or cold ice tea.

I'm holding those mornings dear

And keep all memories with me.

[Jugulator]

А насколько "observing people" идиоматично звучит? Мне показалась эта фраза нетипичной.

[April]

Да это даже не идиома, это означает всего лишь "наблюдать за людьми".

[April]

29. Breakdown

 

The smell of Kent

Failed to bring me to life,

I felt almost nothing, kept silent like dead.

The poisoned blade

Of a sharp kitchen knife

Was bound to cut me, I dropped it instead.

 

It wasn't meant

To take place then, alas,

My memories, lurking, denied suicide.

My guise would fade

In a half-empty glass

And you would not even find out I died.

 

My swollen pride

Was revealed in my eyes,

Yet weakness was hidden behind my eyelids.

I stayed awake

To the gloomy sunrise,

It haunts me at moments when consciousness bleeds.

 

My other side

Is still craving for life;

These tough contradictions make up my true core.

Just one mistake

Fights the urge to survive

Or live ever after like never before?

 

 

30. Actress

 

I've turned to an actress regardless my will,

Life's poignant scenario brought me the skill.

Performing, I find the salvation

In changing my costumes and masks.

It keeps my true guise ever changing in turn,

The art of arranging's not easy to learn,

It's more than just bright decorations.

I've handled a difficult task.

 

I fear the thunder, still dance in the rain,

The gloomy surrounders claim I'm insane,

Not seeing the sense in its absence -

The actress is always to blame!

My tragical comedies last for a while,

Erasing the concepts "the truth" and "a guile".

Deceiving the evident essence,

I'm playing this innocent game.

 

I speak every language of pleasure and grief,

I've heard every rumor you spread and believe.

Well, I am the subject this season,

In fact I am proud of it.

I'm nursing the thought they keep talking of me,

Quite happy to seem a discover-to-be

For no particular reason

Except such a playful deceit.

[Malispa]

Zamechatelno! U vas bogaty lexicon.

[April]

Спасибо, вот еще новенькое:

 

 

31. Reverie

 

I am breaking the vast glassy surface of make-believe seas,

As the moonlight is cutting the throat of scarlet sunrise,

I am screaming my heart out loud, I need to release

All my silently bitter emotions. I pray to the skies

To remain in this world for a lifetime and ruin it then,

In this perfect small drunken creation, in my fairytale,

In the land that's beyond now and never, some time and nowhen

And indulge in the smell of tranquility I can inhale,

Where the past in a twist with the present and future unknown

Is revealed in the blossom of orchids and blue camomiles,

Mighty lightnings of fate never strike in this land of my own,

In this place I'm the only survivor. I'll stay for a while,

Till you come to my shelter and sing me a love serenade,

As you own the key to the gates, and the key is my heart,

First you gift me a dream, then you steal it from me, then you fade,

And I wake. It's another new day. It's another new start.

 

 

32. Fire

 

I used to compare myself with a fire,

So sudden, so restless, so hard to predict -

A definite danger from miles to admire,

The gamut of colors one couldn't depict.

 

The flame is extinguished. The reason is clear -

I crave for love fuel and only one match.

I'm stronger than every invisible tear

That turns to a raindrop. I'll start from a scratch.

 

I'll be a good guide for my soulmates-strangers,

A guard for the lost and the ones of this kind,

For anything frail I'll reveal only danger...

However, a match is not easy to find.

[April]

33. White On White

 

Blank papers of bitter today

Do treasure the words white on white;

If they are forbidden to say,

Then my privilege is to write.

 

I choke on the poison I've drunk,

The root of my love is in grief;

I'm learning the foreigners' tongue

To perpetuate my belief.

 

The strength of my weakness denies

The myth only half proven true;

The lines that I can't recognize

One day were composed by you.

 

The sequel could come to an end,

But sanity claims it's too late,

I take all the pain to defend

The worlds my illusions create.